It turns out the winner didn’t get this, but rather had to donate it to a museum.

“Helpful in emergencies?” Yeah, telegraph for help, then send for the fire brigade by Pony Express.

Frickin’ brine shrimp.

Magnets! What can’t they do?

There is no significant difference between the text in this ad and the text for a sex doll ad.

I can only imagine how disappointing these would be.

“Televue”?

“Scientific tube loop.” Compared to the loops of water held up by Jesus.

Uncle Bernie here will be haunting your dreams. This headlined the next few comic book ads I’m posting.

To answer the question posed at the top of this ad: NO, YOU ARE TERRIBLE PEOPLE.

Sweet Jeebus, what was wrong with people in the 1940s? It’s not like minstrel shows were still a thing. Just… What the fuck?

Brought to you by the National Social Welfare Assembly, or D.O.N.T.K.I.C.K.T.H.E.B.A.B.Y.

How to be a police woman. Obviously, completely different from being a policeman.

Oh neat, it shoots BBs, pellets, and steel darts. 

Wait, what?

When pictures were valuable.